Strategies For Controlling A Man

Dominant Women Led Relationships are some of the most common arrangements in the BDSM community. There are many couples who desire a relationship where the woman is in charge, and while there are many different levels of domination and submission, it is imperative that the woman takes command and puts strategies and practices in place to ensure the success of the relationship. These strategies may vary depending upon the particular couple and their individual situation. They set the boundaries and enforce the roles of dominance and submission in the relationship, making it easier for the woman to maintain control. They also help the man to settle into and relish in his role as the submissive partner. Without a clear set of strategies and practices, the female led relationship will dissolve and there will be discord and disobedience that makes the relationship difficult if not impossible. So what should these strategies be to help women control the men in their Relationships?

The strategies employed in any Dominant Woman Led Relationship will depend upon the level of dominance and submission practiced by the couple. For casual Dominant Woman Led Relationship couples where the woman is in charge of day to day life but the man is still a nearly equal partner, less strict, formal strategies are ideal. For these couples, the best strategy is to have a clearly written list of requirements for each individual within the couple to follow, something that is clearly written out. This list can include things like a daily list of chores, guidelines for how to address one another (Madame or Mistress, etc), and a basic schedule including when to eat, when to work, and when to play. Consequences for both the Domme and Sub, should they chose to disobey or go against the house rules, may be listed out as well, and this plan should be closely followed by both parties. If the Domme is more strict, she may detail these rules more thoroughly, crafting an hour by hour daily plan for the sub, however that is entirely up to the couple. This type of strategy will help to ensure that both individuals in the couple know what is expected of them. When boundaries and expectations are clear, it is easier for the individuals to follow along as there is no guessing or questioning involved. It leads to greater obedience and greater harmony and can quickly make a casual Dominant Woman Led Relationship a comfortable, satisfying relationship.

When the Dominant Woman Led Relationship goes to the next level into something involving more control, more strategies need to be employed to retain control and harmony in the relationship. Written rules and consequences are still a great idea, but because the level of commitment requirement to maintain harmony in this type of relationship is greater, other strategies need to be layer on top of these rules. These deeper strategies are mostly to create obedience and compliance by the sub, particularly for things that are hard for him to control like physical desires. Mental desires can easily be controlled with a strict list of expectations for behavior, but these other more primal desires need more than just a written list or agreement.



Hunger training is one such method. The Domme will withhold food from the sub to teach him to deal with his physical urges. He may be expected to please her in some other way while being denied food with the goal being that the sub learns to put the Dommeís desires before his own. The Domme may also only serve food the sub does not enjoy to teach him to submit and relax into his life of servitude, and the food may be served on the floor without utensils to create a humiliating situation that sends home the message that his place is lesser than hers. This type of training both reinforces roles of each individual and also helps the sub to learn to be a better servant, one that puts his Mistressís needs before his own, making him a better, happier, more successful submissive partner.

Sexual denial and control is another strategy employed by many Women in a relationship. Like hunger training, it is a way to recalibrate the subís reactions and desires so that they are more in line with his responsibilities as a sub. The Domme may insist that the man does not become aroused, going as far as requiring him to wear a device that restricts his ability to have an erection. At the same time, she may also require him to perform acts on her or others (depending on their relationship). By denying his own desires and ability to climax, he can begin to learn to take care of his Dommeís needs first. It can get to a point that he is so crazy, so desperate, that he will do anything in the world for his Mistress. Over time, he will still want to do anything for her, even without the restrictions in place. This type of strategy is excellent for couples because it helps the woman to control the manís reactions, one of the most powerful human reactions, and allows her to create her ideal lover.

Finally, punishment is another strategy a woman can use to gain control over her sub in a relationship. This may include things like whipping, slapping, and spanking as well as humiliation and embarrassment situations that are emotionally punishing for the sub. When punishment is used to correct behavior, when the punishment fits the crime, it can curb bad behavior in the sub and help him to always respond positively, even in the midst of tough situations. Punishment strategies work best when the punishments prescribed fit the crime and directly relate to the offense, and they can help the sub learn from his transgressions. This strategy also helps to cast the female in the most dominant light possible, making her appear stronger and more powerful, inspiring her sub to follow her lead.

Any or all of these strategies can be employed to enhance the obedience of the sub, it just depends on each coupleís particular relationship. Some couples will require many rules and strategies to maintain order and harmony while others will only require a few. It may also take some experimentation to figure out which strategies work best for each couple. But with a little practice and the desire to make the relationship work, these methods can really help to allow the woman to take charge and exert control over her submissive male partner.

Public Humiliation
Often a disciplinarian will use various forms of punishment and discipline to train a slave in obedience. One such form of discipline is humiliation. The humiliation may be private or public. For many a submissive the use of public humiliation is a great training tool

Public humiliation may come in many forms and it may be from light humiliation to the extreme. If a submissive is new to public humiliation then the Dominant needs guide him slowly into this form of discipline.

As the training moves forward the Dominant can push the submissive to more higher and difficult levels of public humiliation. Some Dominants like to watch and control the submissive from a distance when it comes to this form of training. Other Dominants enjoy to be a part of the scene.

Many submissive men love to be humiliated in public by a woman. Often these men will seek out women who love to engage in this type of activity. Public humiliation may be for only a few minutes or may last several hours or days. The intensity of the humiliation will be guided by the Dominant. The Dominant may love to watch the submissive break down and cry or beg for mercy if the humiliation becomes too much.

Total Power Exchange (TPE) relationships with a dominant female only work when both people involved truly accept and settle into their roles. The dominant female must exert her control at all times, both physically and emotionally to truly keep her submissive male partner obedient and satisfied. While this can be done through purely physical means such as spanking or caging, activities that elicit emotional responses and powerful internal feelings can do much more to solidify the relationship. Humiliation is one of the most powerful means of getting the submissive male to obey through emotional means, and when done in public, it can be a life changing experience.

Public humiliation of a submissive can be as simple as choosing him an embarrassing outfit, forcing him to walk around nude, or leading him around on a collared leash. He may also be placed in a position of embarrassment, such as kneeling and being used as the table, and forced to stay there while everyone else in the group looks on. Dominants may also get a group to ridicule and mock the submissive or they may even watch as he is penetrated, slapped or otherwise used as a plaything in front of everyone. The details of the humiliation will be different for every male submissive, but the key factor is that the submissive is placed in a situation that makes them uncomfortable while out in public.

This may seem extreme, but it actually benefits the relationship. The roles of both people are solidified and strengthened as the Dominant makes the submissive to once again do what they want him to do. The fact that it comes from a more emotional place than corporeal punishment or isolated humiliation makes the response stronger. A submissive will feel more connected and will wish to serve his Dominant more after an experience of public humiliation because the emotions are so strong that it can bring about a more powerful bond. In addition, others can witness this exchange of power and that can make it more real to the couple, no longer just a private fantasy. This is important because the more each person truly commits to their role in the relationship, the more satisfaction and happiness they will experience.

Also, many couples actually crave this sort of attention, and they harbor desires for this public humiliation to occur. For the Dominant it creates a sense of power and strength, and for the submissive it allows them to experience these humiliating acts that they secretly desire. It gives them a platform to show the world their secret fantasies that they wonít even allow themselves to experience unless forced to do so by their Mistress. And while they may feel embarrassed or humiliated at the time, deep down their desires and fantasies are getting a chance to break free and this leaves them with feelings of extreme contentment. Public humiliation is not for every couple, but for those that wish to use emotions to drive their power exchange, it can be an excellent tool that brings both people closer to one another and solidifies the relationship.

Teaching Men To Be Obedient
Numerous dominant women are in need of how to train their males. Over the last few decades, women have been taking charge and reminding men every day that itís a womanís world and that itís a good idea for them to learn to be obedient. If youíre currently in a female led relationship and do not know exactly how to train your man or probably want more tips on how to achieve this, then youíre reading the right article.

Start Early In Training The Man.
Men love to please women, so donít be afraid to confront him when he displeases you. Express your feelings in a dominant manner and remind him of your position in the house. For your man to be obedient and submit totally to you, you must consistently remind him that youíre in charge of everything in the household. You must enjoy being in total control because that is exactly what he wants from you. To get him to be more submissive and obedient, you must consistently instruct him on what to do, when and how to do it. Make sure you are continually assertive at all times in the relationship.

He Enjoys Being Obedient.
If he never wanted domination then he wouldnít have agreed to a female dominated relationship. Your man enjoys being told what to do and he loves doing it. If you do not consistently give him orders then you might not as well be running a completely female dominated relationship. From your own perception, you might consider it as a sign of authority but itís important that you know that he actually considers it as a sign of love.

Demand Total Attention.
You must insist that he listens to you while you do the talking. He cannot possibly obey you if he is not attentive to all your orders of what to do, how and when to do them. He ought to be of service to you and carry out all your instructions without complaints. So getting him to act accordingly is to ensure that he is very attentive to all your plans, your concerns and orders. To achieve this, you must be very assertive as it is actually what he desires.

For you to successfully teach your man to be obedient in a female dominated relationship, you must insist that he respects you and consistently ask for permission to do anything outside of his established routine. You must make and enforce rules and ensure that everything is carried out to the letter. As the woman in charge, you must exercise your power and satisfy that desire in him to be controlled. If he exhibits any bad behavior, then discourage it by highlighting your lack of interest in it. All your efforts must be towards satisfying and increasing his sense of adventure in pleasing and obeying you. Strengthen this dynamic desire of his and everything else will benefit you.

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