Serving a Domina wife is one of the greatest pleasures a submissive man can find.
Being able to meet her needs, earn her trust, worship her feminine grace, and take orders from her brings submissive men joy and fulfillment in a way that no other relationship ever could.
Every Dom and sub relationship is completely different, and rules and requirements are based on each individual couple.
However, there are still norms that those involved in these types of relationships expect to follow.
So what exactly is expected of a man when he chooses to serve a Domina wife, and how does that differ when the couple is at home in privacy and when they are out in public?
A typical marriage where the man is submissive and the wife is Dominant is a bit different than just a Dom and sub play relationship. Play relationships are often based on psychological needs, deep seeded ones that the person truly wishes to hide or repress. The level of service expected while in the play space is extreme, and for those few hours, the sub will do anything and everything asked of him without question. He is expected to serve, he wants to be there to serve, and his obedience is expected to be 100%. These types of relationships are often quiet, secret, and completely hidden from the sub’s family, friends, and even spouse. The sub will meet with a Dominant woman at her dungeon or home, they will spend their few hours of time together, and then they will part ways, returning back to lives where everything seems quite vanilla once again.
But a Dominant wife and submissive husband marriage is a lifelong commitment. The parties involved want this type of all encompassing, lifelong relationship. And for many couples, this means that the dynamic of the woman being in charge is not completely hidden, although some couples do still prefer to keep a low profile when out in public. And depending on the level of secrecy involved, the expectations are different.
At home in a typical Dominant wife and submissive husband marriage, the man is expected to be utterly subservient. He is expected to follow all the rules dictated by the Domina, and he is also expected to always be attuned to her needs, taking care of any issues and fulfilling every single one of her desires. There are different levels of service, of course. Some Dominas will dictate what is expected every single minute of her husband’s life while others will just provide a general overview of rules that need to be followed. But at home, without question, the man is expected to do exactly as told and worship his wife with utter devotion and sincerity.
Dominant wife and submissive husband couples can be many things. The main expectation is that the man will still follow his wife’s lead, follow her rules, and treat her with dignity and respect. For couples that choose to hide their BDSM lifestyle, they may act completely vanilla around other friends. The man may be allowed to talk at will, do as he pleases, and make his own decisions (things never allowed at home). These freedoms, however, must be dictated by the Domina herself before the evening out takes place, and it’s often something written up in the marriage contract at the very beginning of the relationship. But even when being allowed these freedoms so that other couples and friends are not privy to the secret lives they lead, he is expected to treat the Domina with respect. He should be complimenting her, agreeing with her, allowing her to take the lead in conversations and then backing her up completely. Even when acting as an equal partner, he should be trying to show his wife that he is her biggest supporter, ready to always do what makes her happy.
Some couples choose to allow their BDSM lifestyle choices be known in public. Again, this is something that is (or should be) set up in the contractual marriage documents at the start of the relationship. When these couples are in public, the man is expected to do exactly as he is at home. He is expected to follow all of the rules and adhere to all of the things that his Domina has layed out for him. If he is collared, he must remain collared. If he is not to speak unless spoken to, he must hold his tongue. If he is supposed to follow the orders of all females present, he must do exactly as the women in the group say or face the consequences. Even when the Domina requires humiliation or embarrassment in public, the man is expected to do as told.
The main difference between this type of open relationship and a secret one is that the rules the Domina sets are followed the same way at home and in public. But both situations require that the man must still follow rules, allow the Domina to lead, and treat the Domina with respect and admiration at all times. It is completely up to the couple which way they would like to handle their public relationships, and even within a single couple there may be different rules for interactions with different groups of people. But these rules should be laid out very clearly and very specifically, and both parties should be 100% aware of the expectations for interactions at home and in public.
A Dom/Sub marriage is a truly rewarding experience for both parties. Whether they choose to act differently in public and private is completely up to them, but one thing always remains the same: the man will always obey his wife and treat her with respect at a devotional level. No matter the surroundings, no matter the change in rules, a Submissive man is always expected to obey his wife and treat her like a goddess. And of course, he wouldn’t have it any other way.
In Female Led Relationships (FLR) the woman is in charge, whether she is the wife, a fiancee or a girlfriend. These couples make an agreement that the woman should be in charge, and what she says goes. For the girlfriend in the relationship, this can be empowering, giving them the control to guide the relationship as they see fit.
When a girlfriend takes charge in a Female Led Relationship, her rules become the ultimate law for the couple. For new couples, those that have just gotten together and have not progressed to the engagement or marriage phase, the rules might be minimal. Girlfriends might only be in control of the simple decisions such as where to eat dinner, who cleans the kitchen, and what activities they’re going to do on date night. She may also make the rules in the bedroom with Dominatrix play, however at this phase it may be more like a game that arouses and excites the couple. The rules may not be extensive during the early weeks and months of the relationship, but the girlfriend’s commands and rules are still absolute and should be followed exactly.
Once the couple starts to trust one another and find that they truly love living with the woman in charge, things get more serious. When both parties realize that they thrive under these circumstances, the woman holding the power feels her own significance and the man gains pleasure in his loss of control. As the girlfriend’s rules become more complex, she can begin to dictate more aspects of her submissive male’s lifestyle. The girlfriend will set rules for the man’s curfew, where he can go, if he works, what chores he does, what he eats, and how he pleases her in bed. This may also be the point when punishment for not following the rules begins to occur as well as submissive training that teaches the man how to properly serve his girlfriend in this type of arrangement.
It can be quite an adjustment for couples to become a female controlled relationship if they have not been a part of this type of relationship before. But if their inner desires lead them in that direction, it can be the most fulfilling relationship they will ever have. For women that feel a pull towards being the boss, being in charge and taking control of not only their lives but the future of the entire couple, then a female dominated relationship is the perfect arrangement. It’s not an easy path, there are struggles along the way, and both parties have to be fully committed to making the relationship work, but if they are committed, having the girlfriend make the rules can create a truly harmonious relationship.